Four things to do before you die

1 ― Mix the world's weirdest cocktail
Now you stir it, now you can't

It has to be one of the most mind-bending experiences you can legally enjoy in your kitchen: manufacture your own dilatant liquid ― one whose viscosity increases as soon as you try to stir it, or do pretty much anything else with it.

The easiest way to make it is a simple mix of about 300 grams of cornflour (cornstarch) and 250 millilitres of water. The mixture ripples like water, but instantly solidifies if you dip your finger or a spoon into it. Go slowly and you can put your finger in, but just try pulling it out in a hurry. You can roll the stuff into a ball in your hands, but stop rolling and it just runs through your fingers. Hit it with a hammer and it can even shatter.

Coolest of all, broken-off pieces liquefy and pool together, just like the shape-shifting T-1000 robot in the film Terminator 2. Well, almost. But then the T-1000 couldn't thicken sauces for you.

2 ― Visit Tuvalu
Enjoy it before it sinks

As sea levels rise, this clutch of South Pacific islands is poised to become the first nation to disappear beneath the waves ― possibly as early as 2050. Currently located halfway between Brisbane and Honolulu, soon Tuvalu may exist only in cyberspace as the prized internet domain ".tv".

Tuvalu's smallest islands are disappearing fast. Already you've missed the chance to visit the coconut groves of Te Pukasavilivili. Tuvalu's paradise world of coral lagoons, swaying palms and international sex phone lines is doomed because not one speck of land is more than 4 metres above sea level and spring tides regularly take 3 metres of that. Almost every tropical cyclone could bring down the curtain.

So why not board the weekly flight from Fiji to the capital Funafuti while you can? As you travel from one of Tuvalu's four guest houses in its single taxi to its lone bar, speculate on who will own the rights to the .tv domain and the tuna-fishing rights in its vast territorial waters, after the last of its 11,000 Polynesian inhabitants has left. Go now, before it dies.

3 ― Win a fortune the mathematical way
Who wants to be a millionaire?

If you're time-rich and cash-poor, then have a go at winning one of the many maths prizes up for grabs. If you're a hotshot mathematician, set your sights on one of seven $1 million prizes offered by the Clay Mathematics Institute in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

To win, you have to prove one of seven conjectures that have given mathematicians sleepless nights for decades. They include the Yang-Mills mass-gap hypothesis, which asserts that if a particle has mass, there is a lower limit to what the mass actually is.

Or you could try hunting for giant prime numbers. Prime numbers, such as 11 or 13, are divisible only by themselves and 1. If you find the first prime with 10 million, 100 million or a billion digits, a US campaign group called the Electronic Frontier Foundation will award you a prize of between $100,000 and $250,000. Your home computer could do all the work. Aproject at www.mersenne.org offers free software that sifts sets of numbers for primes, although if you hit the jackpot, you'd have to share the bounty with the organisers. Failing that, there are maths prizes starting from $10 at www.mathpuzzle.com.

Or maybe you should just get out more.

4 ― Find happiness
What does it look like?

Why do some people manage to skip through life shrugging off disappointments and setbacks like discarded clothing, while others struggle to survive the daily grind?

The secret partly lies in our genes. These account for around half of the variation in happiness between different people. What's more, good-looking people tend to be more contented, if not downright happy. Granted, there's not a lot you can do about your genes. But don't despair, there's plenty else you can do.

Being sociable, helping other people and having lots of friends all help. And getting married boosts happiness for a couple of years at least.

Then there's money. It certainly won't do any harm, but beware: wealth is a short-term fillip. We quickly adapt our expectations to new-found riches and end up always wanting that little bit more. Envy on the other hand is a sure-fire route to misery.

One last tip: consider moving to Denmark. It's the only industrialised nation where people are happier than they were 30 years ago. Why? The Danes are keeping the answer very close to their chest.

Selected extracts from '100 Things to Do Before You Die (plus a few to do afterwards)', from NewScientist and Profile Books.

Tadeja's strong poems

English translation below each of the two poems. The original language is Slovene. 'Krik' was recited by Urška at the preliminary 'Dream 2007' show in Sandweiler (Luxembourg) on 20 and 21 April. I will let them stand in their own right.

Pridi
Pridi. Pridi in spusti se
z mano v neskončne
globine.
Na dno oceana.
Tam bova kapljici.
Solzi trpljenja
in žalosti, nesreče
veselja in smeha
solzi življenja.
Z roko v roki
ko val naju odnese
stran od obale
stran od ljudi.
Pridi, da se izgubiva v valovih,
v toplih globinah,
da se potopiva skupaj
s sončnim zahodom.
Pridi!
Morje šumi.

Come
Come. Come and descend
With me into the endless
Deepness.
To the bottom of the ocean.
There, we will be mere drops.
Tears of pain and suffering
And sadness, unhappiness,
Of joy and laughter,
Tears of life.
Hand in hand
Dragged by the billows
Away from the coast
Away from the world.
Come, let’s get lost in the waves,
Into the warm depths,
Let’s dive together
With the sunset.
Come!
The sound of the ocean.

Krik
Šla bi ven in zavpila.
Zavpila bi tvoje ime
tako močno, da bi se
ob kriku spremenila
v sončni prah.
Le Bog in jaz bi ga slišala
in ti, daleč stran, bi vedel.
Ne moreš ubežati kriku
mojega hrepenenja
in nemir iz moje duše
bi se preselil vate.
Ti si kriv.
Tebi bodo sodili
zaradi mojega krika,
sonce, ljudje, drevesa, reke....
In nikoli, nikoli več
ne boš mogel ubežati
mojemu kriku.
Preganjal te bo
v najintimnejših trenutkih,
vedno bo tam.
In jaz s teboj
kot večni sodnik z razsodbo:
KRIV SI.

Scream
I want to scream out.
I want to scream out your name
So loud, that the scream
Would turn me into
Sundust.
Only God and me would hear it
And you, far away, you’d know.
You can’t escape the scream
Of my desperation
And my restless anxiety
Would capture your soul.
You’re to blame.
You will be judged
For my scream,
By the sun, the people, the trees, the rivers….
And never, ever will you
Be able to escape from
My scream.
It will hunt you down
Into the inmost recesses of your soul,
It will always be there.
And I will be there
Like an eternal judge with the verdict:
GUILTY.

Norwegian Helpdesk

Usually I wouldn't give a penny for Norwegian humour but this little film is indeed a classic! Watch how text was stored in the Middle Ages, and how helpful helpdesks were at that time.

Kunst fra hjertet

»Alt, hvad der bliver sagt om teksterne og musikken, er for så vidt efterrationaliseringer, for når det bliver skabt, er det med hjertet og ikke med hjernen.«
Mikkel Max Hansen, tekstforfatter, guitarist og sanger i epo-555
i et interview til Politiken 28/4-6

Cojan sus ovejas y váyanse ― Take your sheep and go ― Prenez vos moutons et allez-y

«[¡A]caba de decirnos que nos vayamos al infierno, pero lo ha dicho de una manera tal que estamos deseando irnos!»
El presidente del Sheep Council en Australia, a el encargado de negocios de la delegación de la Comisión Europea en Australia, después del discurso de esto, en 1981
Fuente: «Acercando Europa al mundo ― 50 años de Servicio Exterior de la Comisión Europea» ― que puede pedir GRATUITAMENTE

'[Y]ou just told us that we should go to hell, but you said it in such a way that we are all looking forward to getting there!'
The President of Australia's Sheep Council, to the chargé d'affaires of the European Commission's delegation in Australia, after the latter's speech, in 1981
Source: 'Taking Europe to the world ― 50 years of the European Commission's External Service', which you can order FREE OF CHARGE

«[V]ous venez de nous dire que nous pouvions aller au diable, mais vous nous l'avez dit d'une telle manière que nous nous réjouissons tous d'y aller!»
Le Président du Sheep Council d'Australie, au chargé d'affaires de la délégation de la Commission européenne en Australie, après un discours de celui-ci, en 1981
Source: «Ouvrir l`Europe sur le monde ― 50 ans du service extérieur de la Commission européenne» ― que vous pouvez commander GRATUITEMENT
(La version française de la citation a été modifiée par moi-même, comme elle n'était pas correctement traduite.)

Design made by humans ― for humans?

On his website Bad Human Factors Designs, Mike Darnell collects examples of all kinds of design ― from taps over mobile phones to road signs ― in which the designer, if there was such, seems to have forgotten to take the number one aspect into account: That people have to use it!

What's really great though, is that for every example he lists, Mike gives a simple and creative suggestion on how the design could be improved.

I have also added a link in the link list to the right.

Proof that oranges are good for you

(What wouldn't it be if you cut out a kiwifruit like that then…)

A colourful way to funding

'You cannot pretend you are a real witch
if you cannot help a businessman get the EU funding he wants.'
Florica, a witch from Piteşti, Romania
according to Commission en direct, quoting Guardian

Enig…

»Lene Espersen er et godt bud på en ny borgerlig regeringschef.

Hun er ikke udpræget grim, og hun snakker godt for sin sag.«

fra leder i Ekstra Bladet 7/4-7

Three more signs

The first one is from the Slovenian town of Piran. What's funny about it is that a Frenchspeaker would easily tend to pronounce 'Kud Sac' similarly as 'cul-de-sac', which means 'dead end street' (actually, the term 'cul-de-sac' is also used in English). Fancy sign to indicate a dead-end-street…

The text on the plaque means 'Cultural-artistic society' in Slovene ('Kulturno-umetniško društvo'), then in Italian (SAC), followed by the name (Karol Pahor) and the town in both languages.

The next is also from Slovenia. One you see quite a lot near schools, in many countries ― I just thought it's pretty original to let the kids actually break the frame and thus create a meta feel about a simple road sign!

The text translates as 'We are here again! ― School ― Drive carefully!'.

The third is not really a sign actually. The pic was taken in Cusco, Peru, at the San Pedro market. Odd phenomenon that they sell perfumes, which so explicitly, in pictures and words, advertise that they are supposed to attract women.

Notice especially the one called '7 Machos' ― wonder if such brand name would sell in Europe…

Thank you to Luka for the translations from Slovene!

"Du kannst nicht emotionsfrei an eine Liebe herangehen."

Christoph Daum
im GeißbockEcho, Heft Nr. 13/2007

Pink Water 4

Repeatedly, I am listening to Indochine's wonderful song 'Pink Water 3', as well as the 'June' disk's hidden track, which is the same song but with exclusively English lyrics …and I was wondering whether I could find the English lyrics somewhere. Turns out there's a whole discussion about it. Maybe a justification for these hidden tracks, aka ghost tracks?

Sky, I'm gonna leave tonight
You know, I've got a life to live
And it's getting late
So, I'm gonna leave tonight

I can't decide if I'm the one you need
Or what you want out of life
I always thought you'd be the one to leave
The one to change your mind

I'm on a rocket to a dying star
You have to stay behind
Can't take you with me 'cause it's very far
And you don't have the time

(Get out me out this place
Get out me out this place
Get out me out this… place)

Sky, I'm gonna leave tonight
You know, I've got a life to live
And it's getting late

I can't decide if I'm the one you need
Or what you want out of life
I always thought you'd be the one to leave
The one to change your mind

I'm on a rocket to a dying star
You have to stay behind
Before I met you I was crashing cars
And I was doing fine

Get me out of this place
Get me out of this town
Before I drown in your deep pink water
I won't remember your face
I can't remember your frown
Because I'll drown in your deep pink water

(Ten, nine, eight, seven…)

Sky, I'm gonna leave tonight
You know, I've got a life to live
And it's getting late

I'm on a rocket to a dying star
You have to stay behind
Can't take you with me 'cause it's very far
And you don't have the time

I'm on a rocket to a dying star
You have to stay behind
Before I met you I was crashing cars
And I was doing fine

Get me out of this place
Get me out of this town
Before I drown in your deep pink water
I won't remember your face
I can't remember your frown
Because I'll drown in your deep pink water

Get me out of this place
Get me out of this town
Before I drown in your deep pink water
I won't remember your face
I can't remember your frown
Because I'll drown in your deep pink water

based on the lyrics discussed at the abovementioned forum, with my own modifications

I feel sprightlyyy, oh so sprightlyyyyy...

A friend of mine used this adjective (without the singing though), which I had never heard before. But I liked it, the sound of it, the meaning, it is one of these words where you can feel its meaning without ever having heard it before.

Main Entry: spright·ly
Pronunciation: -lE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): spright·li·er; -est
Etymology: obsolete spright (sprite), alteration of sprite
1 : marked by a gay lightness and vivacity : SPIRITED (a sprightly musical)
2 : having a distinctively piquant taste : ZESTY (a sprightly salsa)
synonym see LIVELY
― spright·li·ness noun
― sprightly adverb

definition from Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary
where you can even listen to the word being said

Men and intelligence

'If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?'
Linda Ellerbee
Source: De røde støvler

See also this blogpost.

Malt og malt imellem

Sjovt som ting kan hænge sammen:

Biobrændsel lavet på fx raps er på vej frem, og den øgede efterspørgsel gør det attraktivt for bønderne at dyrke raps.

På bekostning af malt. Derfor bliver der et mindre udbud af malt, hvorfor prisen på malt også stiger.

Og dermed på øl.

Det søger bryggerierne nu udlignet ved… at tilskynde til at udvikle biobrændsel baseret på malt, så alle dyrker malt og vi kan få vores øl billigere og køre bil (naturligvis ikke samtidig) uden at forurene.

Bjørn
baseret på artikel på Politiken.dk 26/2-7

Var det Kung Volmers djuparöv som gick upp och ner?

»[B]yer med […] spektakulære navne […] findes [der] en del [af] i Sverige […,] blandt andre: Onansbygd, Rumpsjön, Lem, Bögholmen, Muslickberget, Ballekkåtan, Kukasjärvi, Brittas Hål, Snålkuk, Valefittan, Djuparöven.«
artikel i Ekstra Bladet 26/2-7

At work: Win rather than whine

'It’s about […] working close together. We don’t need a strong daily leadership. We […] use the innovation force. We don’t need direct instructions on everything because we know that it’s our workplace, that we are part of the company, that the company is nothing without us. That’s a winning attitude.'
Hans Skov Christensen, director general of the Federation of Danish Industry
interview for EurActiv

Hvor bliver glæden/smilet af?

I 30 år har jeg arbejdet som selvstændig indenfor servicefaget. Hotel/Resaturation og butik. Nu er jeg desværre ikke i arbejde mere grundet sygdom, og savner meget den pulserende travlhed.

Som gammel i gårde indenfor branchen, kan jeg ikke lade være med at "studere" både kunder og ansattenår jeg er ude.

Efter min mening bliver ingen ansat bedre end konceptet/chefen vil uanset hvilken brance der tales om. Den bedste service gives, stadig en subjektiv betragtning fra min side, af de store koncerner. Der er det bogstaveligt talt "banket" ind i hovedet på de ansatte, at det forventes de giver kunderne den service.

Ofte har jeg set de ansatte blive overfuset af utilfredse kunder, og de har dog stadig formået at smile venligt til kunden. Det er mig en gåde, hvorfor mange ikke evner at kommunikere på et ordentligt niveau.

Det er mig en glæde, når jeg har fået en god behandling og service, at gøre den ansatte opmærksom på det. De bliver glade, og jeg bilder naivt mig selv ind, at det er en god bagage for dem resten af dagen.

De værste kunder, har jeg observeret i discauntbutikkerne. Mange gange har jeg hørt kunder beklage sig højtråbende over manglende kassebetjening. Ja men hallo, du kan jo ikke forvente samme service i en skrabet lavprisbutik som i Føtex eller Quickly.

En gang om ugen har jeg hjemmehjælp. Der bliver da ikke gjort rent som jeg selv ville ha' gjort det, men det ødelægger nu ikke min dag. Når der så kommer en som virkelig kan sit kram, ja så skal hun sørme da også have at vide, hun er god til sit arbejde.

Nogen vil nok sige: det jo det de får deres løn for. Ja, men et tak for veludført arbejde hører de ikke arbejdsgiveren sige, så i det tilfælde må jeg/vi som brugere huske det.

I min utrættelige iver efter at observere god kontra dårlig service, er jeg nået frem til, at taxa, og nu omtaler jeg kun observationer fra min egen by, er de dårligste for ikke at sige de har slet ingen. Måske er jeg gammeldags, men jeg giver ikke en krone i drikkepenge til en chauffør som ikke gider åbne døren, ensige næsten ikke orker at sige goddag. Jeg har haft brug for taxa til handicapkørsel, og skulle have taxa til døren. En chauffør ringede på min dør, og blev meget fortørnet og sur da jeg forklarede ham jeg ikke kunne gå hen til bilen. Han var sur fordi de ikke havde givet ham den besked på centralen. Sådan en chauffør burde spørge sig selv, om det nu er det rigtige job han har taget. Han gør mig som bruger harm over opførslen, han overfuser garanteret senere en travl dame på centralen, og han har bragt sig selv i dårligt humør. Et smil, og et venligt: øjeblik dame, den henter jeg i løbet af ingen tid, og måske en venlig påmindelse til centraldamen om forglemmelsen ville ha' gjort hans dag mere behagelig. I hvertfald for hans omgivelser.

Lad os få lidt mere smil og glæde ind i hverdagen.

af Lundgren, blogpost 14/2

Not that kind of theme park

In my series of surprising signs, the idea is to have a good laugh. In some cases, however, there is a serious story behind. This is the case of the...

...which exhibits the 1944 Warsaw Uprising.

Read the story, and visit the Muzeum Powstania Warszawskiego if you go to Warsaw. It's not a museum that rises into the air as the English translation of its name might suggest. But a visit there should widen your awareness.

My first online mixes ― All of Archive's 'Sane'

Don't forget to rate them, so I can win some cool stuff!

Stripped Into Space
Less vox, more spacy, kinda sectionised and wobbly.


A, Er, Chive Insane
Groovy, playful, synths and guitar, with that evident drum machine to hold the pieces together.


Bones
Airy, synthy, discreet yet funky, dancy, plain ― complete!


Skin
A complete, keyboard-dominated mix, with only just the necessary scent of rhythm section, bringing the vocals in a well-balanced forefront. (Now THAT sounded academic, dinnit?)


All Or Nothing
Just synths and vox. Simple yet melodic. This one'll stick in your head.

Himba beauty

'It is a trait of the Himba to consider the body a face. The body is essentially 'neutral' or like the sheet of paper on which their culture is written. This is not nudity, just as it would be absurd to think of the face as nude. Such neutrality expresses a lifestyle in which the body is at one with the surrounding landscape and animals. The beauty of the Himba is amazing and surprising because it conforms to criteria that are very different from ours.'
Photographer Colin Prior
in KE Adventure Travel's image gallery

Happiness in black & white

I don't remember where I stumbled over this photo but I think it's really beautiful. It has a 'DDR 70s' look to it but most of all I believe it radiates savoir-vivre, harmony and love.

Wish list ― just in case

Practical stuff


iriver H340 (MP3 recorder and player)


Gift voucher for IKEA Saarlouis, Arlon or Metz

Plants, preferrably medium-sized or big

Voucher for poster and/or picture frame shop

Long-sleeved T-shirts

Event stuff

Travel gift voucher

Spa/massage gift voucher


Ticket to the Indochine gig on 24 March in Rockhal


Ticket to the Kim Wilde Gig on 11 March in Den Atelier


1.FC Köln membership or just tickets for their games

Audible stuff


Incredible Expanding Mindfuck: 1996 - 1999


The Klaxons: Myths Of The Near Future


Incredible Expanding Mindfuck: Arcadia Son


various artists: We Will Bock You


Blue Man Group: Audio


South: 4 Track Sessions

Watchable stuff


The Front


At Last The 1948 Show


Do Not Adjust Your Set


Prozac Nation


Picking Up The Pieces


Blue Man Group: The Complex Rock Tour Live


It! The Terror From Beyond Space

Readable stuff


Mario Pricken: Visuelle Kreativität


Detailtypographie


Lennart Gotlieb: Michael Kvium — Malerier Og Motiver
(Lindhardt & Ringhof)


Palle Schmidt: Den Nye Generation — Dansk Møbeldesign 1990-2005
(Nyt Nordisk Forlag)


Subscription to GEO Special

Plus a bunch of 'real' books ― but I've already got sooo many waiting to be read, so I prefer to eliminate that pile before adding further to it…
…Except:


Footprint Central America & Mexico Handbook 2006

En hyldestode komponeret spontanten mandag formiddag

Min Mor hun er en heks
Men staver det med 'x'
Der' lissom mere sex
I å' hedde Hex med x

Ham nissen er Min Far
Han ser jo ganske rar…
…ud med sit skæg og vom
Men lader kun som om

Thi faktisk er han slem
Og ganske fingernem
Når Moders ting han gemmer
Og han bli'r stadig slemmer'

Jeg har en Far og Mor
De' cirka lige stor'
De drikker meget vin
Og spiser som to
Yderst civiliserede og velopdragne mennesker

Kundendienstbrief #2:Sonderzüge zum RheinEnergieStadion in Köln

Nach ein sehr enttäuschendes Erlebnis beim öffentlichen Lokalverkehr in Köln am 20/8-6 habe ich diese Anregung an die Kölner Verkehrs-Betriebe geschickt (gekürzt, da die Anzahl der Zeichen auf dem Kontaktformular begrenzt ist), mit Kopie am 1.FC Köln sowie an der Kölner Tageszeitung EXPRESS.

Bis heute habe ich, trotz einer Mahnung, nichts von KVB gehört. Nur der 1.FC Köln hat reagiert, die Sache aber anscheinend nicht weiter verfolgt.

An der KVB

Ich habe Ihnen vor 1½ Monaten folgendes durch den Formular auf Ihrer Webseite geschickt, habe seitdem aber überhaupt nichts von Ihnen gehört:

Sonntag sind wir 2 Personen von Luxemburg nach Köln gekommen um das Heimpremierenspiel der FC gegen Burghausen mitzuerleben.

Nach einige Stunden im Zentrum wollten wir gegen 13.20 Uhr vom Neumarkt zum Stadion fahren. Da Spielbeginn 14 Uhr war und wir unsere Karten schon im Voraus gekauft hatten, habe ich ― auch aus früheren Erfahrungen ― eingeschätzt, dass das genügen würde.

Zunächst wollten wir der Linie 1 nach Weiden West nehmen, wurden dann aber auf den Sonderzügen aufmerksam. Diese wurden auf Anzeigetafeln sowie alle 5 Min. durch den Lautsprechern am Neumarkt empfohlen.

Da standen wir dann mit ungefär 10 anderen FC-gekleideten Fans, sich darauf freuend, der FC bei der Heimpremierenfete anfeuern zu können. Nur… es kam kein Sonderzug. Kein einziges.

Wie gesagt waren wir gegen 13.20 auf dem Neumarkt, und die Sonderzüge wurden stehst annonciert. Gegen 13.40 bin ich dann runtergegangen um zu fragen, ob irgendwelche Probleme aufgetreten waren, da kein Zug kam. Die Schalter waren geschlossen und ich habe mich daher an ein Paar KVB-uniformierte Herren gewendet, die gesagt haben, dass die Sonderzüge "so spät" nicht mehr fahren.

Wir sind mit der Linie 1 zwei Minuten vor Ende der 1.Halbzeit angekommen. Zu diesem Zeitpunkt stand es 3:0 ― nur hatten wir nicht an dieser Fete teilnehmen können.

Daher bitte ich Ihnen, die 46 €, die wir für unsere Eintrittskarten bezahlt haben, rückzuerstatten, da wir nicht für eine Halbzeit 200 km fahren. Restliche Kosten verlange ich Ihnen nicht ab.

Ich werde diese Beschwerde in naher Zukunft auf meinem Blog http://clasen.blogspot.com veröffentlichen.

Auch auf der Seite http://www.kvb-koeln.de/german/news/press.html?NID=621 sind die obenerwähnten Infos nicht besser erklärt.

MfG Bjørn Clasen, treuer aber enttäuschter FC-Fan aus Luxemburg

Antwort vom 1.FC Köln

Sehr geehrter Herr Clasen,

vielen Dank für die Zusendung einer Kopie Ihrer an die Kölner Verkehrsbetriebe gerichtete E-Mail. Wir bedauern die Ihnen widerfahrenen Unannehmlichkeiten im Vorfeld unseres Heimspiels gegen den SV Wacker Burghausen sehr.

Am Fortgang des Vorgangs sind wir, auch im Interesse aller mit öffentlichen Verkehrsmitteln anreisenden FC-Fans, sehr interessiert und würden uns daher freuen, wenn Sie uns eine Antwort der KVB ebenfalls in Kopie zukommen lassen würden.

Wir hoffen, dass es bei zukünftigen Besuchen des RheinEnergieStadions zu keinerlei Unstimmigkeiten kommt. Vielen Dank für Ihre Unterstützung sowie für Ihre Treue zum 1. FC Köln!

Mit freundlichen Grüßen
1. FC Köln GmbH & Co. KGaA

i.A. Rainer Mendel i.A. Tobias Schmidt
Leiter Mitglieder & Fanservice Fanservice

película — pellicule

Have you never asked yourself the question why the Spanish word for 'film' (película), is so close to the French word for, well, 'dandruff' (pellicule)?

No matter whether you have or not, here's a short explanation.

According to this Universitat de València page (notice the Catalan name, and check out the homepage if you wanna read some Catalan; it's not that difficult if you know some French and/or Spanish) , película means 'little skin'.

Now that already starts making sense.

It turns out 'pellicule' in French can actually also refer to film. Wikipédia (notice the accent…) has an article on that meaning but not on the dermatological one. However, when referring to the latter, usually plural 'pellicules' is used, as it's probably rare to have just one dandruff.

Basic Japanese

寿司 Su-shi means thing that makes happy.

What is often referred to as 腹切り hara-kiri (belly-cutting),
is more formally called 切腹 seppuku (cutting the belly).

Sources: GEO Special Nr. 6/2006 and Wikipedia

Care for a slice of Trabi?

'The car's body was made from a specifically designed fibre-reinforced plastic called Duroplast, a mixture of cotton and ground wood pulp soaked in artificial resin […]. Duroplast is notoriously hard to recycle, but strangely enough, is edible, and stories of Trabants being devoured by farmyard animals are quite common. Emir Kusturica's 1998 film Black Cat, White Cat contains a scene showing a Trabant being slowly eaten by pigs.'
from the article 'Around The Bloc' by Matt Robinson, in easyJet's in-flight magazine, December 2006 issue

Kids Are Getting Older Younger

…or, as the insiders of the children's toy developers know it: KAGOY. As the name says, it refers to the fact that children have an increasing number of appliances such as PCs or mobile phones at an increasingly earlier age. Toy manufacturing companies have to operate with this in mind when launching and competing on new products.
Thanks to easyJet's in-flight magazine, December 2006 issue

L'egoïsme dans la transparence

»Souvent, les aveux et confidences partent du besoin de se décharger émotionnellement. L'autre n'est plus alors un interlocuteur privilégié, mais un réceptable dépersonnalisé.«
Isabel Korolitski, psychanalyste

»Sous couvert de transparence, on se décharge […] sur son partenaire«.
Frédérique Hédon, médecin sexologue

dans l'article 'Eloge du silence' de Flavia Accorsi, dans 'Psychologies' hors-série

Ich nehm' mein Frühstück abends um 8

Dies ist das erste meiner Fotos von Schildern, die irgendwie auffallen:



Tatsächlich kann man hier, im Bar-Restaurant 'Die Eins' in Berlin, bis Mitternacht frühstücken. Der Grund ist warscheinlich, dass ARD- und RTL-Mitarbeiter, die ja oft untypische Arbeitszeiten haben, hier essen gehen.

Der Titel dieser Artikel ist übrigens ein Zitat vom Herbert Grönemeyer-Song 'Alkohol'.

Mahlzeit!
Bjørn Clasen

To those who dare taking the riskof doing something big for themselves

It is about seizing the moment, seizing life. Seizing yourself. Actually doing something that a whole lotta people dream of, many think of, but only very few get as far as planning let alone doing. Leaving your luggage behind, maybe returning to the locker and opening it but with hands guided by a richer mind. A mind that had the courage, which it oddly enough does take to feel inside yourself and act to make things better for yourself.
Bjørn Clasen
to a friend who did dare

Brazilian bikini wax

The mission

I was picking lint from my collar when my editor called with a dangerous mission: to get a Brazilian bikini wax and report back to you, the reader. Apparently, men are ripping hair from the shyest parts of their body, and no one knows why. They needed someone on the inside.

I arrived at the day spa without a reconnaissance. Lauren the hostess guided me through the cutting and curling and dyeing to a waiting room. Scratch that. Any room so fancy should technically be called a foyer. The chandelier tinkled to the sounds of Beethoven, and cinnamon candles warmed the room. I sat on a couch with entirely too many pillows and tried not to touch anything. Lauren hurried away to do hostess things.

Odd place for a man condemned to wax.

Men are not cut out for hair removal. A man can eat nails, drive a Harley, become a Navy Seal, and still snivel before a pair of tweezers (or as I like to call them, Devil's Chopsticks). It is baffling that women endure this pain ― repeatedly ― for any cause, including their own salvation.

Lauren circled back for me and soon I lay in the waxing chamber, where everything was fresh and folded and blindingly white. Was I in for surgery or hair removal? As instructed, I removed my clothes and assumed the position. It was like lying on a chiropractor's table, only face up with legs spread in gynecologic uncertainty and, on second thought, nothing like the chiropractor at all.

A cheery voice interrupted my willies: "You muss be the lucky man."

And in she walked, a stout Argentine woman whom you liked instantly even if she was about to rain terror on your netherparts. Her name was Blanca, but she answered to anything that sounded like cries for mercy. Blanca was an older woman, better for the wear, and had an accent straight out of Evita. Her voice soothed like a lullaby, but you sensed that she could beat you silly if she had to.

For some reason, it only now occurred to me that Blanca would see me naked. I felt like we should get to know each other, have a drink or something, but she went right to work like a mother changing a diaper. She had seen every size, shape, and color, and mine did not bear mention. So it goes.

Blanca showed me the instruments of destruction: liquid wax, cloth strips, and a box of Kleenex (for my eyes). Her arms were brawny as if from subduing previous customers. I asked Blanca what made a wax Brazilian. Despite my hopes, it had nothing to do with live samba dancers.

"The Brazilian es when everything goes, even where the sun no shine. The French, however, es when you leave a leetle strip…" She demonstrated.

I asked her if we could start with a colder, more conservative country, say, Poland.

Blanca laughed as she dipped her rag in hot ― extremely hot ― wax. She laid the strip on my skin and, coaxing me in tender tones, rrrripped the hair from Mr. Giggles.

It is hard to describe the pain that attended. Normally we are present to a range of sights and sounds, grounded for the most part in reality. The moment Blanca took back her strip of cloth, my awareness of Other came to a searing standstill, and nothing existed outside the sting between my legs. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked.

I yelped in some new language and had a mini-seizure.

"Es okay, beautiful, see." Blanca showed me a strip of fur that belonged somewhere else.

So it went, strip after strip, my torso arched backward like one demented Slinky. Blanca assured me that "es almost over," then rrrripped again. I looked to her the way one does a flight attendant in turbulence: her smile was all I had.

"Beautiful, es almost over," she said, and I, in my fever, believed her. We were almost done for 30 minutes.

Tears welled up, but I sucked them back in with my eyeballs. Women wax all the time, right? I thought about my wife. Maybe she would take me for ice cream afterward.

With every pass, the wax got hotter. I asked Blanca if the heat would max out at some non-scalding temperature.

"Hot wax es better," she said. "It grabs the hair from underneath."

Her perfectionism was killing me.

"Es almost over."

Blanca told me to close my eyes and relax, but every time I got to my happy place, she ripped it out of me. It's a little-known fact that the man who coined "mind over matter" died of a Brazilian bikini wax. I've endured tattoos, carpentry stabbings, and a bee sting that made my lips look like Meg Ryan's, and none of it could have prepared me.

Finally, mercifully, we reached the end ― the real end. Blanca had clear-cut Florida, Georgia, and Alabama, leaving no shrub unfelled.

She wiped her hands and said brightly, "See, I told you eet was almost over."

I looked down at my new friend, a turkey made hairless, waddle and all. Blanca told me to let it air out for a while, be naked if possible. Good thing I work at home; that could have been awkward for everyone.

"Thank you for trust me," she said. "Will you do eet again?"

"Perhaps if I encounter some issues with my memory down the line." I tipped Blanca not for the wax but for the psychotherapy.

Aftermath

It has been a week, and I'm still not myself. I've acquired a facial tic and other hints of post-traumatic stress disorder. The draft in my basement won't go away. I feel less manly, Samson without his pubic hair. I've stopped showering at the gym, and it may be years before I can eat Brazilian nuts.

My hair is returning slowly, in patches, like Earth after nuclear winter. Blanca said that if I wax often enough, the hair will stop growing altogether, but then what will we do for fun? My compulsion to scratch is severe ― greater, in fact, than my need to be accepted by other people in the restaurant.

As nice as it was to clean Richard and the twins, I have decided that my private parts will remain private. Some say that waxing improves sex, but I don't think I'm good enough at it to tell the difference. I did find this, however: shavers and waxers don't mix. My wife is a shaver, and I, bless my editor, am a waxer. Now when we make love, it feels like grating glass down there, which, of course, is not enough to keep me away.

Blanca sees musclemen, swimmers, and guys who like to roam the beach showing off their circumcision, but still it is mostly women. They are the only ones tough enough to return. Blanca would like to have more male clients, but something tells me I didn't help her cause.

Still, I will always recall fondly this woman who knows me better than do most of my ex-girlfriends. Even now, as I scratch and scratch, her accent echoes in my mind: "Es almost over, es almost over…

by Jason Love on Free World Group

Danish mentality explained ― Janteloven

Denmark hardly has social classes. The excruciating tax levels basically leave an enormous (lower-)middle class, a tiny upper class and an even tinier lower class.

As evened-out as the country is geographically, it also is socially. The popular writer and politician N.F.S. Grundtvig desribes both aspects very well in his song
'Langt Højere Bjerge'. The final line says it all: 'når få har for meget og færre for lidt' ('when few have too much and fewer too little').

Now, this equality idea may sound like a good thing to outsiders. But imagine a society where one has to be ashamed of standing out… This particularity is referred to as 'Janteloven'.

'Jante' is a (fictional ― it's believed to refer to Nykøbing Mors) provincial town in the novel 'En flygtning krydser sit spor' by Aksel Sandemose. So 'Janteloven' is 'the law of Jante', i.e. the rules of conduct that people in Jante (= Denmark…) are living according to.

Janteloven is listed on this site, along with a counter-code of conduct. As for the site-owner's interpretations, take'em or leave'em.

And good luck in understanding the Danes.

Bjørn Clasen
European
who only kept his Danish passport
because there is no European one yet

Rhythmic Rap Rock

Last Sunday, I had forgotten to bring a tape for my car stereo, so for once I switched on the radio. And caught this one, which I think is pretty good:

(Click play to, er, play)

Kundeservicebrev #1:Bedre lukning til Castus Frugtstænger

Dette ellers yderst enkle forslag til, hvordan Castus bør forsyne sine lækre frugtstænger med en mere brugervenlig lukning ― eller rettere åbning ― har jeg to uger efter end ikke fået svar på.

Se Castus' glimrende netsted her ― et mønstereksempel på hvor enkelt, praktisk, overskueligt og samtidig smukt det kan gøres!

Kære Castus

Når jeg er i Danmark, køber jeg som regel et lille lager Castus Frugtstænger, da de ikke alene smager godt, men også er et kærkomment sundere alternativ til fx chokoladebarer og hvad man ellers kan finde på at fylde i sig for at stille den lille sult.

Dog har jeg et enkelt hjertesuk, eller rettere et forslag. Jeres pakninger til frugtstængerne. Der står godt nok i hvilken ende, de bør åbnes, men den lille revne (er der et fagord for en sådan? Det kunne jeg godt tænke mig at vide; det kunne være et godt quizspørgsmål…) sidder i midten af den endes lukning, hvilket medfører, at man kun river halvdelen af lukningen af, når man vil åbne sin frugtstang. Derfor er det lidt af en kamp at skubbe frugtstangen op gennem den halve åbning, så man kan spise den på rigtig snackfacon.

Jeg foreslår, at I i stedet sætter den-revne-som-jeg-endnu-ikke-ved-hvad-hedder i siden af lukningen, således at den småsultne kunde ved at rive op fjerner hele lukningen i den ende.

Jeg håber, I synes om mit forslag, som jeg måske vil lægge ud på min blog: http://clasen.blogspot.com.

Det er i øvrigt en rigtig flot hjemmeside, I har! Grafisk indbydende, dejlig enkel, nem at finde rundt i, og meget informativ! Til lykke med den!

På forhånd tusind tak!

De bedste hilsener
Bjørn Clasen

Se hace camino

caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar
Antonio Machado

Still stark raving...

Did Alfred E. Neuman ever grow old?



Physically yes.

Man muss eben die Lichtseiten sehen können

"Zwei Titel habe ich ja. Die meisten Platzverweise in der Bundesliga und wohl auch die meisten Kreuzbandrisse."
Jens Nowotny im kicker-Interview

Roxanne den Tidløse

»Police udsendte deres første single, ’Roxanne’, i 1977. Sangen er en klassiker og er et af de største rockhits fra firserne.«
Artikel i Ekstra Bladet 18/1-7

My fruit bowl today

Danske fodboldprofilers doppeltgænger

Nej, det er ikke mig på billedet, men det ligner en del.

Det er Christian Poulsen.

Jeg så engang et billede i Tipsbladet af udskiftningsbænken på ungdoms-/OL-landsholdet. Bjarne Goldbæk var med, og vendte hovedet halvt væk fra kameraet.

Det lignede fuldstændig mig.

Daddy had some

Tvangstanker i EU

Den danske medicinalkoncern Lundbeck har fået godkendt depressionsmidlet Cipralex til behandling af tvangstanker i EU.
Jyllands-Posten 13/1-7

Un CWRW os gwelwch yn dda!...

(The heading should mean 'one beer please', if I used the Welsh-English dictionary right...)

Daums Problem: der Kader

Zweitligisten im kicker-Test: 1. FC Köln

Der Sturz des Top-Favoriten 1. FC Köln ging unter seinem renommierten Trainer-Neuzugang weiter. Klar, denn Zaubern kann er nicht.

Die Neuen

19 plus 13 ― das ergibt nicht nur 32, nein, es ist die Formel, die das Versagen der FC-Verantwortlichen dokumentiert. 19 Spieler gingen vor dieser Saison, 13 neue (inklusive der aktuellen Nachverpflichtungen) kamen. Das Fatale: Über keinen von ihnen gäbe es irgendetwas Positives zu sagen. Klar, Adil Chihi weckt Hoffnungen. Broich legte ein paar Tore auf. Ansonsten? Chaos pur im Kader, den Hans-Peter Latour und Michael Meier nach bestem Wissen und Gewissen, allerdings frei von jeglicher Sachkenntniss zusammenzimmerten. Erschreckend die fehlende Schnelligkeit bei Haas, die Fehlerquote bei Ehret, die Aussetzer von Mitreski, die Beliebigkeit von Spielern wie Lagerblom oder Baykal. Das Ganze toppte man dann mit dem Kauf des mit 1,4 Millionen Euros teuersten Zweitligaspielers, Milivoje Novakovic. Wundert es im Ernst jemanden, dass dem die Klasse fehlt? Köln und seine Transfers ― Absurdistan am Rhein!

Gewinner und Verlierer

Es gibt keine Gewinner in Köln. Die einzigen Kandidaten, Patrick Helmes und Matthias Scherz, sind verletzt bzw. ohne Perspektive. Ansonsten Verlierer, wohin man schaut: Trainer-Darsteller Latour, Manager Meier, Präsident Overath, und bis dato auch der neue Trainer, der mit dieser Hinterlassenschaft noch kein Spiel gewinnen konnte.

Stärken und Schwächen

Die Stärke des 1. FC Köln pausiert wegen eines Mittelfußbruchs seit dem 25. September und absolviert momentan Krafttraining und Aquajogging. Patrick Helmes wird wohl nicht fit zum Rückrundenstart. Besser sieht es aus bei Lukas Sinkiewicz, der sich nach Kreuzbandriss zurückmeldet und der wackligen Defensive, der jeglicher Fixpunkt fehlt, Stabilität verleihen kann. Mit den Schwächen dieses zusammengeschusterten Kaders könnte man Bücher füllen, fürs Erste reichen der Blick auf den Haushalt (ca. 40 Millionen Euro) und die diesem immensen Geldfluss entgegenstehende Platzierung in der Tabelle (Platz 10 in der Zweiten Liga).

Trainer und Umfeld

Christoph Daum und Roland Koch stehen für Erfolg. Deshalb bemühten sich die Verantwortlichen des 1.FC Köln so sehr um sie. Wofür sie nicht stehen, ist Zauberei. Daum und sein Team werden womöglich noch härter arbeiten müssen, als sie dies jemals für möglich gehalten haben. Denn entgegen dem Glauben der meisten Kölner gibt es kein Gesetz über die Erstligazugehörigkeit des Klubs. Da braucht es viel mehr als die von Manager Michael Meier geforderte "elitäre Arroganz", der Trainer muss die Spieler auf Vordermann bringen und im Umfeld dafür sorgen, dass die notorischen Schwätzer sich zurückhalten und die Demut üben, die einem derart gestürzten Top-Favoriten gut zu Gesicht stünde.

Fazit und Prognose

Ein Dutzend Punkte Rückstand auf Rang drei sind nicht aufzuholen. Der FC wird sich verbessern, letztlich aber für die schlimmen Sünden der Vergangenheit büßen und nach- sitzen müssen.

Frank Lußem
im kicker.de, 8/1-7
Foto: © imago

Die Analyse finde ich richtig, interessant und gut formuliert (ausser die Konklusion, aber das liegt wohl an meinem Optimismus und daran, dass ich Köln-Fan bin)…
Viel Glück, Geissböcke! Mer stonn zo Dir!
Bjørn

Strange socialism

'Tessa [Jowell, UK Secretary of State] also announced […] that there is going to be an increase in the BBC licence fee to help pay for set-top boxes for the over-75s like my mum, which in itself is a bit strange, given that the licence fee is an unfair tax with the poor paying as much as the rich. This means we are now going to disproportionately tax the poor to help the elderly, some of whom are not poor at all. An odd concept of socialism.'
Greg Dyke in The Independent, 19/9-5

Black Talk

»Peter gik engang sådan en slags tur, hvori han fiskede tre sprællemænd i en vandkande, som på belgisk-gallofil vis blev en hyperaktiv sælunge i sur-sød farsvenderkones ytringsfrihed i morgen klokken syv til venstre for Ækvators præsidentføde. Ikke? Jodanå. Og i morgen. 7½ til venstre. Og tre. Træ? Træ. Nej, tre. Øh.«

Yrsa Yggerhøj-Yvlisen Yde

Spild af penge at producere nye penge

Danmarks Nationalbank har besluttet at designe, fremstille og udsende en helt ny serie af pengesedler fra 2009 til 2013. På mig virker beslutningen som et spild af skattekroner.

For det første er det et spørgsmål om tid, før de stemmeberettigede danskere skal til urnerne for at sige ja eller nej til at indføre euroen som officiel valuta. I praksis følger den danske krone jo alligevel euroen yderst tæt, så det handler om, hvorvidt landets indbyggere også vil have den mellem hænderne og på deres konti i stedet for fortsat at skulle miste penge på at veksle, når de rejser til udlandet eller overfører penge dertil.

Det handler også om, hvorvidt Danmark vil have bare en smule indflydelse på pengepolitikken i det samarbejde, landet har valgt at være medlem af, eller foretrækker fortsat at være direkte dikteret af beslutninger truffet af de med-medlemmer, der har valgt at indføre €uroen.

For det andet kommer motiverne på de kommende danske sedler til at have samme grundtema som... eurosedlerne. Og endda med samme bagvedliggende filosofi.

Fra Nationalbankens netsted:
»Temaet for den nye seddelserie bliver danske broer og landskaber nær broerne eller detaljer fra disse landskaber. Temaet afspejler, at Danmark er et land omgivet af vand med broer, der binder danskerne sammen. Følgende broer er valgt:

• Den gamle Lillebæltsbro
• Knippelsbro
• Dronning Alexandrines bro
• Sallingsundbroen
• Storebæltsbroen

Broerne er valgt på baggrund af deres arkitektoniske forskellighed, og at de geografisk repræsenterer forskellige dele af Danmark.«

Fra Den Europæiske Centralbanks netsted:
»På sedlernes bagside er der afbildet broer, der symboliserer kommunikationen mellem de europæiske folk og mellem Europa og resten af verden.«
og videre:
»[Broerne] er eksempler på en arkitektonisk stilart eller en periode i Europas historie. Hvis motiverne havde været eksisterende broer, ville den pågældende seddel blive forbundet med det land, hvor broen befandt sig. Broer, der ligner broerne på eurosedlerne, findes mange steder i Europa.«

Skatteborgernes penge må kunne bruges på noget bedre end at producere penge, der måske aldrig kommer i omløb!

Argumentet om, at kronen giver nationalfølelse, køber jeg ikke. Nationalfølelse kan knyttes fx til Dannebrog ― men på mig virker det nærmest blasfemisk at knytte den til noget så koldt som penge. Der er vel heller ingen, der får hjertebanken ved synet af et Dankort, medmindre det er fordi det er enten meget meget tomt eller netop fyldt op til bugnegrænsen. Og portrættet af dronningen kommer de færreste vist til at savne, når man ser på den seneste møntserie. Og hvis de gør, er den ene side af euromønterne jo stadig landets egen.

Desuden blev kronen ikke indført før sidst i forrige århundrede... som del af en møntunion (!) med bl.a. et land, som vi nu har bro over til. En bro, som tilsyneladende ikke er national nok til at komme på pengesedlerne. Men i dens officielle navn mangler der jo også et 'e'. Som i euro.

Bjørn Clasen

Se i øvrigt Eurodiffusie, hvor du kan indføre, hvor mange euromønter, du har fra hvert land.

Beautifulgaria

This photo gallery shows some really nice photos from Bulgaria. Definitely worth at least a look.