Two thirds into the tournament, and still a team missing

Avoiding EURO 2016: A self-experiment — Day Twenty

Incredibly, today I have learned nothing new about the EURO 2016! Nada, nothing, zilch! Perhaps it is a day off, as I figured yesterday?

Therefore, let’s summarise what I have picked up about the tournament so far. The new points, since the sum-up twelve days ago, are in italics.

• It is held in France
• France, Romania, Switzerland and Albania must have played in the same group
• Switzerland scored against Albania
• Albania beat Romania and fans celebrated in the streets of Albania until 2 am
• Albania came third but this did not suffice to reach the knock-out stage
• Iceland, Portugal, Austria and Hungary must have been in the same group
• Iceland drew 1:1 against Portugal (and Ronaldo was angry at reporters)
• From this group, only Austria did not reach the knock-out stage
• Poland, Northern Ireland, Germany and Ukraine must have played in the same group 
• Poland beat Northern Ireland by 1:0 (and Lewandowski was angry at his team mates)
• Germany beat Northern Ireland too, apparently by a few more goals
• Wales played against Russia
• Italy beat Sweden 1:0 at the group stage
• Turkey were in there somewhere too
• Sweden was eliminated at the group stage (and Zlatan was angry at the referees)
• Italy beat Spain in the eighth-finals
• Belgium beat Hungary in the eighth-finals
• Germany beat Slovakia in the eighth-finals 
• France beat Ireland 2:1 in the eighth-finals after Ireland had been up 1:0 on a penalty
• Iceland beat England in the eighth-finals
• Everybody loves the Icelandic Vikings — even the English 
• Poland plays Portugal in the quarter-finals
• Germany plays Italy in the quarter-finals
• Iceland, France and Belgium have also reached the quarter-finals

Now, this may seem like a lot of information picked up by someone who actively tries not to follow the tournament. But when you think of it, it adds up to very few facts:

1. As little as four exact results
2. Angry primadonna players
3. And not even all of the eight teams still fighting for the Henri Delaunay Cup…

The mysterious eighth team

Avoiding EURO 2016: A self-experiment — Day Nineteen

Belgium thrashed Hungary. I don’t know by how much but I saw headlines such as ‘Belgium seriously signs in for the fight for medals’ and ‘Belgium’s captain: We could have won even higher’. So I am supposing it was by more than three goals, which for some newspapers is enough to call a victory ‘thrashing’.

Anyway, I hope the won’t go all the way, that would simply be unbearable. One of the usual suspects, I can bear, even France or Italy. But not Belgium.

France won against Ireland, as I wrote about a couple of days ago. And I know the Squadra azzura is through too, as they played against another usual suspect, Spain, and I read that Spain is out.

The remaining of the four usual suspects is the only one I would support: Germany. I am pretty sure they won their eighth-final against Slovakia, as I saw photos of a celebrating Thomas Müller and Mario Gomez, the latter being one of the most overrated strikers to have worn the white jersey. But apparently he does live up to this honour now in his (for a footballer) older days. Maybe it’s just me who never got over watching him scoring a hattrick in RheinEnergieStadion back in 2009 when VfB Stuttgart was a top team and 1. FC Köln was (once again) newly promoted.

Who I’d really support though, if I was in fact following the EURO 2016, and who everyone seems to be supporting now are the volcanic wonderboys from Lavaland. Yes! Iceland were the wizards behind the second Brexit within a few days, this time just in a football tournament. I had caught a liveticker displaying that they were up 2:1 against England, and this morning I saw a text from my best friend, an Englishman, reading: ‘Yes! Iceland hand out just punishment for Thursday! Great result!’

Indeed.

A close Polish source also told me in a slightly worried tone that Poland will play Portugal in the quarter-finals. I will know the outcome of that one by the honking or the silence in my street. Although I actually do not know when the matches take place. My guess is that today is a day of rest, which then leaves exactly twelve days till the final on 10 July. That is a lot for seven more matches. Could it really be that tomorrow is a day off too, followed by only one quarter-final a day until 3 July? That would make space for a two-day break before the semi-finals on 6 and 7 July and another two days’ rest before the final.

So who is through anyway. Italy, France, Germany, Belgium, Portugal, Poland and Iceland. But who is the eighth quarter-finalist? Truth is, I honestly have no clue. Croatia? Turkey? Who am I forgetting, or rather not knowing about?

I think it proves a certain success in my self-experiment to not follow the EURO 2016: There is even one of the eight teams still in the tournament that I do not know of! Let’s celebrate that by watching the highlights of another quarter-final, not at a European but at a World Championship, and not with a good outcome but truly one of the most exciting matches ever:



Oh, wait! Maybe Wales is through?? Despite voting to leave…

How many out of twenty-four?

Avoiding EURO 2016: A self-experiment — Day Eleven

Time for a self-test. Yesterday when chatting to a couple of friends who had read my blog, I realised that since the number of teams in the European Championship is for the first time 24, there are eighth-finals after the group stage, as opposed to quarter-finals since 1996 I think, and before that even just semi-finals.

This also means that in four of the six groups, number three out of the four teams qualifies for the knock-out stage. I always found this a stupid rule: ‘the four best number threes’. It was invented by FIFA in the 1986 World Cup. Already four years before, the World Cup had been upgraded from 16 to 24 (and nowadays even 32!) teams.

As the system of having the two top teams of each of the six groups advance to the next round, and then play in four groups with three teams in each did not work well, eighth-finals were introduced from 1986, meaning that the ‘best’ four of the six teams finishing third in their respective groups also got a ticket to this round.

Anyway, back to the self-test: Do I actually remember which 24 teams qualified for EURO 2016? Let us see: Poland, Germany, France, Northern Ireland, England, Wales, Russia, Romania, Albania, Iceland, Austria, Hungary, Slovakia, Italy, Sweden, Turkey, Switzerland and Portugal I know for sure.

That’s 18 already. Spain must be in there as well, and I’m pretty sure that Germany had to play against Ukraine. Oh, and Belgium is in there too of course, as everybody’s (not so) hidden favourite.

So we’re at 21. Which ones can the remaining three be? Croatia would be a good bet. I do know that The Netherlands are not in. But who else is? Greece? Might be. Czechia perhaps? I don’t think so but I’m not sure. Ireland could be though, as I saw a link to some young lads in green jerseys with pints in one hand and garbage bags in the other:




I love that green country and their people! And it seems they are among the 24! Good!

Colours of football

Avoiding EURO 2016: A self-experiment — Day Nine

A trip to Germany. The occasional schwarz-rot-gold flag hanging from on a balcony, but surprisingly also a couple of bleu-blanc-rouge ones on poles. Grown men enjoying a pils in their national team jerseys. A girl running on the sidewalk wearing one too. A village café with a sign saying ‘Watch all EURO 2016 matches here’. A lakeside café with Özil, Schweini and five or six other players plus the whole team’s autographs printed on a flag. It’s EURO 2016 and the fans of the World champions display their affection.

Not a single car with those small plastic flagpoles fixed to the window frames though. So Germany is probably not playing today. And somehow, overall, I have the feeling that the enthusiasm does not reach quite the same heights as in recent years.

I did catch another result by accident though. While having a tea, I superficially browsed through a Bild, and as my eyes fell on a football field graphics with a heading saying that Italy has beaten Sweden 1:0, I quickly skipped past the sports pages — there was a dozen of them, and they seemed to be only about EURO 2016 — and only caught that Turkey played as well, and that there are some problems in the German team. At least according to Bild that of course listed the six reasons for these problems and …probably in their usual sublime journalistic style… analysed them in depth…

Italy 1:0… what a surprise… The safest bet one can place is that Italy wins 1:0, no matter who the opponent is. I have always had a hard time understanding football fans who follow Italian football (except for Italians of course). To me, they have always played this 1:0 football. Make a goal, and as soon as you do, just make sure the others don’t make one. How boring can it get, and then from this cheerful people who on other fields than the football field spread so much joy of life and colour.

Speaking of colours: Turkey. I had forgotten they were in there too. And they too have a Lukas Podolski connection, as he plays for one of the country’s big three, Galatasaray Istanbul. Galatasaray plays in unusual colours: a dark shade of yellow, approaching orange, and a brownish red. The colours are not far from those of AS Roma, and what I find interesting in both cases is that while such colours look somewhat too dark at less sunny latitudes, they look brilliant down there.

Zitat (kölsch, deutsch, türkisch)

Nä, dat kann wirklich keine Zofall sinn,
dat sich „Dichter un Denker“
su erschreckend jood reimt — immer noch —
op „Richter un Henker“.

Nein, das kann wirklich kein Zufall sein,
dass sich „Dichter und Denker“
so erschreckend gut reimt — immer noch —
auf „Richter und Henker“.

Belki söylemnesi gereken şey şu ki: „Dichter und Denker“
Yazarların ve düşünürlerin daha halen „Richter und Henker“
hakim ve cellatlara çok benzedikleri.

Aus dem BAP-Song 'Almanya'